In preparation for this month's IUI, I went in this morning for a blood draw to determine how close I am to ovulation and if we should start doing ultrasounds.
My blood was drawn not by any of the lovable cast of characters you've met so far (Chatty Phlebotomist, Inappropriate Lab Administrative Assistant, or Ultra-Sweet Lab Manager). This morning it was drawn by the guy that the GF and I just call "Crazy Guy".
Crazy Guy is also a phlebotomist. Crazy Guy is called Crazy Guy because he rambles constantly, half of it mumbling. The mumbling contributes to the incomprehensibility of the soliloquy. If he weren't wearing a lab coat you'd think about calling hospital security. But his mumblings don't seem to distress his co-workers, and he draws blood with perfect ease, so I have had no quarrel with him.
Until today.
Me: (being swabbed, having tourniquet fitted)
Crazy Guy: So, how many kids you got at home?
Me: None.
Crazy Guy: Ah, you will.
Me: Hope you're right.
Crazy Guy: Little girl.
Me: (thinks it's a question) Girl or boy, I don't really mind, I'd be happy with either.
Crazy Guy: No, I'm telling you, you're gonna have a little girl.
Me: (stares at wall silently, tries not to cry)
Crazy Guy: (witnesses tear-filled eyes with satisfaction) When people come here, I like to uplift them.
Oh lord, crazy guy needs to keep his mouth shut.
ReplyDeleteoh my flipping gourd. i guess it would be bad form to strangle him with the tourniquet, but it's tempting.
ReplyDelete*squish* <3
I think a history of mental disturbance is a requirement for whatever kind of educational program phlebotomists go through. Sometimes they're sadists-- refusing to use a butterfly even after you tell them how difficult of a stick you are. Sometimes they're eerily cheery. The one that stuck me a couple of weeks ago was unusually slow. She went for juice a good 5 minutes after I told her I was about to pass out, and I was slumped over in the chair by the time she came back. It's pretty much always a chamber of horrors in there. I'm really sorry you had Crazy Guy this morning.
ReplyDeleteUgghhh-- I'm sorry. I agree with Melody: I think there must be some sort of crazy test that these people have to pass before they are allowed to take our blood. Can't they adopt as their policy "the less said, the better?" That would make me happy.
ReplyDeleteI don't what I would have done in your shoes maybe had a fit and demand speaking to his boss
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry.
Here's hoping you don't get him again.
ReplyDeleteGod what an absolute ass. Sorry you had to go through that.
ReplyDeleteson. of. a. BITCH.
ReplyDeleteTraining. There needs to be TRAINING in what is and is NOT appropriate to say. "Don't presume" should be rule #1.
ReplyDeletei was just checking in to see how you're doing -- i'm so sorry that happened. Alas, the socially inept and inappropriate phlebotomist seems to be common. why does it seem that the more skilled they are at drawing blood, the crazier they are? the only person to not give me bruises was also the woman who repeatedly offered to be a "surrogate" for us. she wanted to carry a baby so she could "eat all she wanted." Eww.
ReplyDeletethinking of you,
tina (rc)