It's all over but the bleedin'.

Hcg 115. Game over.  Not too surprised -- after the bleed on Thursday night, on Friday I passed something suspiciously... embryo-like.  I had this wild fantasy that maybe it was one of twins (really, self? With those betas?) but yeah, no.  Honestly, I knew it was over then.

At least the timing is actually pretty good. I'm about to go to Vegas for a week for a conference, and now I won't have to bring shots. And I can drink coffee, and take the antihistamines I've been denying myself for the past two weeks. And it is blessedly not dragging me through beta hell, meandering across and down in a laggardly fashion -- that's a damn good sharp plunge.  Almost as if I'd, you know, passed the entire sac on Friday.  So I hope that's a sign that this will be over cleanly.

If not, though, I'm going to Vegas equipped. In my cosmetics bag I have a DIY uterine evacuation kit, leftovers from the last round: misoprostol, Zofran, painkillers. If this drags on in a painful way I can take care of it quickly. I probably won't use it, but I find it incredibly comforting that I have it.

Beta #3: still truckin' along

952, for a doubling time of 44.23.  No complaints.

Ultrasound a week from Monday..

from 19dpo-22dpo:

from 16dpo-22dpo:

 

gulp.

19dpo: a surprise comeback?

Recap: After coming out of the gate strong with good pee-sticks, she managed to muff the first fence, scraping over beta #1 with a score of less than 100. Her form has improved considerably between the first and second fence. Beta #2 came back at a very respectable 308, for a doubling time of 44 hours.  She's clearly rattled by the first fence, but let's not write her off just yet. This one may yet have a chance.

Okay, I'll... stop talking about myself in the third person as if I were a horse now. I'm a little punchy and adrenaline-y. My heart was pounding as I clicked open that email.

So! Here I am. Her Indoors is going away on a trip and then I'm going away on a trip so I get to learn how to give myself IM injections. Thank goodness my bum's mostly numb by now.

I'm grateful. What I wanted was either

1) A clearly good results, like this, or
2) A clearly bad results.

And, of course, I rather preferred #1.

I dreaded getting a 180, a 200, something like that -- not quite low enough to pull the plug immediately, but far too low to be healthy. So I'm damn grateful.

Next beta on Thursday.

16dpo beta

98. Not a complete disaster, but not great. Average is about 200 at this point. Assuming perfect doubling (ha! ha!) best-case scenario is a 15dpo of 75ish, which translates into about a 60% chance of live birth, 40% miscarriage/chemical according to my favorite oracle. It's not chasing unicorns, but it's certainly chasing... something that runs away, but is sometimes a catchable. A chicken? Fine, a chicken. Chasing chickens does have a certain "going in circles over the same ground" quality that seems appropriate.

I am so sick of this bullshit, I can't even tell you.

So now I'm passing the time until Monday. I was really hoping not to use the tag "beta hell" for this cycle.