7 follicles, 7 days of stim

(note to Mel: no, haven't increased stims -- he felt that raising my dose at this point wouldn't produce more eggs, and he didn't want to speed development on the ones I have, which are already going kind of fast. 9-10 days is optimal, but at last check it looked like mine were going be be ready at 8 or 9 days. I'm hoping for 9.)


I've talked myself into a slightly better place. That better place is not in the general IVF boards, where crops of 15-20 eggs seem normal. No, that place is the Poor Responders board. There 7 follicles is doing well. Plenty of starving children starving infertiles people there would be delighted to have seven follicles. Seven's a lucky number, right? The Magnificent Seven is my darling's favorite movie, like, ever.

Chris and Vin want each other so bad. I'm just sayin'.

Okay, Magnificent Seven it is. I seem to recall that (spoiler alert, but it's a spoiler for a movie released almost 50 years ago, so boo ya) anyway, I seem to recall that three made it out alive. And three good strong healthy embryos would be just ace.

It's also struck me that I might not -- likely won't? get a 5-day blastocyst transfer. Have not really processed the implications of this. There's no good down that road. Never mind. I'm rolling with it. This is me, rolling.

As Vin once said

Reminds me of that fella back home who fell off a ten-story building. As he was falling, people on each floor kept hearing him say, "So far, so good." Heh, so far, so good.

Well. So far, so good.



I'm sorry to be so gloomy. I don't seem to be able to get out of that headspace right now. Recently a whole bunch of my friends-from-the-internets have gotten pregnant. People I really want to be pregnant. And to every one I've had the same reaction to the joyful peesticks: wincing and thinking to myself you might not want to be buying onesies just yet. I felt grimly sure that their parties would shortly come to an abrupt painful end.

But you know what? Every single one of those people is still pregnant and all look fain to have blessedly healthy babies. And I know that every single one of those people considered the chance of miscarriage and chose to celebrate the moment any way. Because that is what living is all about, innit.

It's the so far, so good. Because I'm going where gravity is taking me, so I might as well enjoy the ride. And you know, sometimes (maybe 30-40% of the time) there's a truck carrying mattresses driving by below, or a dumpster full of styrofoam peanuts, and the people who wailed on the way down are exactly as dead or saved as the people who didn't, except the people who didn't had a much better time.

So yeah.

So far, so good.

Day 6 of stims: word problems.

Someday I will do something and not worry myself sick about it. Then the world will probably end. Feel free to finish your coffee, though, since it's not going to happen any time soon.

This IVF cycle is a whole 'nuther ballgame. The lower dose (150 Follistim, 75 Menopur) plus the metformin seem to have dialed my response way back. My E2 on Day 4 was only 134. I'll find out today's later on. We only saw 7 follicles on today's scan.

Reasons this is good:
Egg retrieval will likely be less painful/incapacitating
Very unlikely that I'll hyperstimulate and be painfully immobilized for two weeks

Reasons this is not good:
Fewer eggs is, well, fewer eggs. Last time: 25 eggs > 21 mature eggs > 16 fertilized > 15 embryos > 6 blastocysts.

This represents 84% mature, 76% fertilization, 94% make it to embryo, 40% make it to blast.

If identical numbers this time (leaving aside the absurdity of embryo fractions... believe me, you don't want your embryos fractured): 7 follicles > 5.88 mature > 4.48 fertilized > 4.2 embryo > 1.68 blast. If that actually means 6 mature > 5 fertlized > 4 embryo > 2 blast then I have one to transfer and one to freeze. But as you can see, there's very little wiggle room, a decent chance I won't have any to freeze, and even a possibility I won't have anything to transfer. If that happens I'll defrost one of my Tiny Frozen Americans, but it would be galling to have this cycle, the second of my three chances, be a bust.

ETA: E2 -- 445. Dunno. Seems low to me.

CD22, Day 21 of BCPs, Day 7 of Lupron

There hasn't been much to report. This stage of IVF is boring, just weeks of preparing by taking birth control pills and, for the last third, Lupron. All of this is meant to lull my ovaries into a false sense of security a sweet slumber, so they will be well rested when we blast high-decibel Metallica at them begin the stimulation medications.

Once again The Apothecary Shop covered themselves with glory, sending

1. extra infinitesimally tiny Lupron needles -- 31 gauge! I can barely see the needles, much less feel them.
2. a nice styrofoam cooler which will in the future find itself full of ice and beer
3. instructions on how to give all of the shots. Not that we don't know how by now, but it's comforting, anyway.

Oh, and I forgot to tell them that I already had a Follistim pen and wallet, so they sent one along with the Follistim. The wallet's a nice hard-shelled case. It will not go to waste, however. It's a pretty good size for my Nintendo DS Lite.

Other than the reproductive stuff, things have been a bit crazy. Our beloved insane poodle mix got into some mouse poison, spent three days in the animal hospital, and nearly died. Research revealed that this all could have been avoided if the pest control company had, you know, followed the instructions on the poison and used tamper-resistant baits stations. I've sent a letter asking them to pay the nearly $2000 vet bill and swear to me that they've put safeguards in place to make sure this never happens again. If they refuse I'll have to sue them in small claims court and get state agencies involved. It's all stressful, but I don't see letting them get away with it, not when the next dog or kid could die if they don't start following the rules.

I thought that the BCPs and Lupron had been treating me pretty well, but then my sweetie pointed out that I've been on a bad bad headtrip for lo these ten days now. I take my last pill tonight, and we're all hoping that my mood returns to normal once the pills are out of my system.

Oh, and I forgot to report the conversation I had with Chatty Phlebotomist when I went in to have my blood drawn:

Chatty Phlebotomist: Wow, we see you here a lot.
Me: Yes, I'm a patient of Dr. Fertility's. Soon you'll be seeing me for blood draws every other day.
CP:Ohhh, Dr. Fertility. You know (leans forward confidentially) it'll happen when you least expect it.
Me: I don't think so.