Cycle Day Nothing/6DPO

Oh, my, it's been more than two weeks. Time moves strangely in the gap between the end of a pregnancy and the start of a new cycle. "Can I consider the day I started bleeding cycle day 1?" I asked the doctor.

"Nah," he replied cheerily, honestly. "You're on cycle day nothing."

So for the past few weeks I've been on cycle day nothing. I went in twice a week for blood tests, all of which showed that my ovaries were doing... nothing. Just lying there sullenly like a pair of kicked dogs lying there sweetly snoozing, dreaming of better days to come.

After the fourth no-action blood test results, the doc began to entertain the possibility that my ovaries might not be coming back on their own. He offered me a ten-day course of Provera, at the end of which I would have a period and begin a new cycle. I liked the certainty, but I didn't like the fact that it would put me probably 4 weeks out from ovulation. I decided to wait until (last) Wednesday and, if no action, start the Provera then.

Well, sure 'nuff, Wednesday's bloodwork revealed that... I should have had bloodwork done on Tuesday. My estrogen was over 300, and my LH was over 100 (45 or so is considered "elevated" and indicative of imminent ovulation).

By the time I was lying on the table we were 24 hours past that blood surge, and there was nothing left but a swinging barn door where the follicle was.

We insemmed anyway. This is probably what's known as "dumb" and also "a colossal waste of $530." Pretty much everyone agrees that the sperm has to be in the fallopian tubes before the egg's released.

I didn't care. I was (apparently) willing to spend $530 to feel like I have a chance and I'm back in the game.

So here I am at 6 DPO. Careful Googling has revealed that some doctors think that slightly post-ovulatory insemination is better for male-factor infertility, and using donor sperm is kind of like having automatic male-factor infertility, because the number of sperm you get are much fewer than in a normal shot. So that's a little hope, right there. And you know, I don't care. I'm waiting for something, I'm no longer just waiting. I needed to be back here.

So yeah.

Assuming I'm not pregnant this cycle, I will be starting birth control pills for my next cycle of IVF in approximately two weeks.

The auguries are depressingly negative. Apparently I don't believe in that stuff strongly enough to change my plan of action, but I do believe in it enough to feel badly about it.

Or maybe it's the Prometrium (progesterone supplements) I'm taking. Estrogen makes me high, progesterone makes me cry. Seriously, guys. I've choked up about twenty times today. I blame the gorgeous wedding pictures that keep popping up.