Yep, nobody home.

Had a scan this morning. You know, I don't much think about the costs of scans on the other side of IVF. We socked away the money, whatever, when the bill comes we pay it. But I resented the hell out of every dollar this scan cost.

It was pretty useless, too. Not much of interest to be seen. A thinnish lining of 7mm, I guess I just get to wonder what that means. Was it my lining that borked this up, after all? Seems unlikely, though. Embryos are pretty robust where linings are concerned; otherwise extrauterine pregnancies wouldn't be half so common. A bit of fluid in the uterus, a smear of something that might have been a gestational sac with a fetal pole but clearly was never going to call me mama. A giant corpus luteum/cyst on my right ovary. No fluid in my abdomen, so that's good.

My pee-sticks are dark, dark, dark. I hope that things turn around during the weekend and start to lighten up. Otherwise I get to go back to "empty the uterus". I do not think that sounds like a particularly good time. Rechecking bloods on Monday.



Things are okay, I guess. I'm frankly sick of crying. Sick of tissues and snot. I've got a rotten cold, too, and I feel like I've been in an achy-headed stupor for a week now. Thick, sore, foggy.  I think I'll feel a lot better once this thing is actually out and my hormones can settle down. The moodiness, sore boobs, fatigue and intermittent nausea aren't half so fun when there's no prize at the end.