Let's think about this logically

Things that probably caused this pregnancy loss:

1. My finding out the due date
2. My googling strollers
3. My googling area daycares
4. My calculating my sick and vacation days for FMLA
5. My researching area hospitals
6. My mentally practicing telling my parents and 91-year old grandmother
7. My googling "babylegs"
8. My joining one of those due-date threads on an IVF discussion board
9. My looking at all the Burt's Bees "Mama Bee" products on drugstore.com
10. The many hours I spent each day with my laptop wedged on my abdomen, pumping EMFs into Baby
11. The huge amount of soy protein I ate while sick with OHSS
12. OHSS
13. My vaguely maybe-diagnosed PCOS
14. Bisphenol-A
15. Bears
16. Chromosomal abnormalities incompatible with fetal development.

All my the symptoms are now really really annoying. My hip is messed up and painful from having spent a week and a half sleeping sitting up in an armchair. I'm still massively bloated. Burping, fatigue, frequent peeing and aching breasts? Suddenly not quite such a rollicking adventure.

I keep eagerly rushing to the bathroom to see if I've started bleeding. Not even spotting yet. I just want this to be over.

Also, thank you so much for the kind comments. I keep refreshing the page and re-reading them. They really mean a lot to me.

I knew this was a solid chance, especially given the beta drama. But for all my defensive pessimism, the truth is that I was convinced that it would all be Just Fine, that the worrying was a obeisence to the gods in order to make everything work out well. Because, you see, my name is in the opening credits. My narcissism on some level believed that the writers would opt for the happy ending. Doesn't everyone love a happy ending?