CD27, 11DPO

Things I did today:
1) Used one of my First Response tests.
2) Google searched "11dpo bfn".

I must say that the FRER was a far more dignified experience than the cheap pee-strips -- you immediately pop a plastic cover over the wick end, thus keeping self from being splattered with own urine. Not sure if it's worth a premium of $6.10 per test, though, not with my habit.

Breasts exactly as tender as they usually are a few days before my period. No EWCM. At least it means my progesterone is on the case.

I think a part of me is afraid that if I don't manage to do this fast, the other parties may get fed up and want to quit. Intellectually I know it's unlikely, but I can't help feeling quick quick before anyone changes their mind. Including me, I guess.

I'm determined not to fall into the trap of being angry with my body. I see people who curse their "recalcitrant" bodies and refer to their periods as wicked and hateful. That can't be good. It's like sheesh, if you're going to ask a really big favor of your body, you'd better be nice to it, not abuse it. Accordingly, I ate vegetables twice last week. That ought to do me for a few months.

Apparently, still feel need to joke.

Things that I will not do while TTC:
1) Curse my own body
2) Let the process erode my relationship
3) Get moony at other people's babies
4) Stop drinking coffee.

Also, I will start exercising as soon as my period starts. My yoga class isn't enough considering that I am entirely sedentary the rest of the time. Frankly, right now the place is a bit run-down, and it seems a little rude to invite another being to live here given its condition.

Things I will do once my period starts:
1) Start exercising
2) Try one of those colon cleanse capsule regimes
3) Reach decision about hypertension. I'm pretty sure it's the Wellbutrin that's pushing me out of acceptable territory. Anything that seems to actually work for me seems to increase my blood pressure as well.  Goddamn. I had to be one of the 4%. Options: discontinue Wellbutrin, try not to act too crazy.  Continue Wellbutrin, try and find antihypertensive with acceptable pregnancy profile. Do nothing, force obstetrician to force me to deal with it. Continue Wellbutrin, don't see doctor, buy Resperate and see if it works. The last option means purchasing a gadget, so of course it's the most appealing.