CD12

This morning I woke to this unwelcome sight



Unwelcome because it's only CD12, because the shippers aren't there yet and so there's no way M can ship today, because there's no freaking way to get a package across the country to arrive on a Sunday or Monday.

Sat - Fertile Day 2
Sun - Fertile Day 3
Mon - Fertile Day 4
Tues - Ov 1
Wed - Ov 2

The very best time would be days 3 and 4 and there's absolutely no way to do that, the timing couldn't be worse. If I had sent the shippers on time then he could've shipped today and we could've hit FD2, but no. As is we'll have to try for Tuesday and I dunno if I we should bother for Wednesday -- there's no point if the egg has dropped, and chances are that it will have. But who am I kidding? I know we'll try anyway.

--Or not. Just got off the phone with UPS. They won't leave the package on Saturday if there's no one to sign for it. I can't exactly say to M "spend your whole Saturday waiting for this package". Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck.

Sometimes I'm just filled with frustration that our attempts to conceive are so dependent. We're dependent upon UPS, FedEx, the company that makes the buffer and nonsensically restricts access to it, the company that makes the shippers and might not sell them to me if they knew that they were for human use, the accuracy of all our ovulation prediction technology. Most of all we are dependent upon the good will of our KD; he seems to have a generous supply of good will and patience, but with every word that I say I'm conscious of not wanting to annoy. Well, if we were doing this frozen we'd be dependent upon the cryobank, the shipping company, and likely an RE and our insurance. There is just no getting around the fact that to get this done we need.

In my brighter moments this doesn't bother me at all. Sometimes I even really like the idea that it'll take a village to make this child. In my darker moments I just feel like a beggar.

ETA: KD is an officer and a gentleman. He has offered to stay home and wait for the package. I must get him a subscription to the Meat-of-the-Month club or somesuch.