Haven't much had the heart to blog -- last cycle negative, of course. I've started the birth control pills for my last fresh cycle.
Big love to all the kind and wise people who told me to step away from the Google. Now it seems a bit foolish to worry about multiple pregnancies, given that right this second being pregnant at all seems fantastical.
I've unsubscribed from several high-profile infertility bloggers, all of whom are now pregnant (nobody whose journal I've ever commented on, or who has ever commented here). It's just too much. Too much. I was at a conference this week, in a discipline that's heavily female and, apparently, fecund. I overcompensated mightily, as always. If I'm ever pregnant, I wonder will I notice when a woman is smiling at me too warmly? I know I'll never be a belly-rubber, but I wonder if I'll see. Probably not. I can't see it on anyone else's face even now. I always feel like the only person whose eyes slide away.
*hugs*
ReplyDeleteI hear you. Pregnancy blogs have been all but impossible for me to read lately.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about the last cycle.
ReplyDeletexo
I'm sorry about the last cycle. :-(
ReplyDeleteA chronic hyptertensive's pre-eclampsia risk with a singleton pregnancy is a terrifying 25%. My age and lack of previous pregnancies add to the risk. Getting pregnant with multiples would increase that even more.
Risk statistics can be scary. I have chronic hypertension, so my OB saw me more frequently during my pregnancy. Thankfully, no pre-eclampsia. A friend from college with no risk factors, had pregnancy induced diabetes. But she and the doc managed it just fine.
I'm glad to hear you back here and I am sorry about the last cycle. I can assure you, you are not the only woman whose eyes slide away, who feels as though she has to look enough, but not too much, at these women who seem like another species. I am so afraid that something in my glance will betray me, though. But we are invisible to them, I think.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I am out here hoping for this coming cycle and believing in your dream.