CD28, 9DPO: Cranky

Things that make me cranky:

1) People with whom I have, in a moment of ill-advised intimacy, shared our TTC plans, rushing up to me in a fairly public place and being all "so how's it going?" Me, through gritted teeth: "No news, I'll be sure to let you know."

2) People who seem to think that I'm dangerously unstable, and thus are all stammery about announcing their own pregnancies. If I were not such a cranky bitch, this could also be interpreted as "people being sensitive and caring about my feelings", but did I mention cranky? Take my word for it, you can't win with me.

3) My dawning suspicion that I may, in fact, be dangerously unstable.

4) Negative pregnancy tests.

5) Breathing.

In other news, am looking into the possibilities of having sperm frozen and washed in CA and then shipped here.  An otherwise convenient option opens up a whole new range of crankiness: the Rainbow Flag Health Services sperm bank.

It's a sperm bank just for us merry homosexuals. The location's good and the prices are, for a sperm bank, reasonable. Perfect, right? Except that it appears to be run by one guy with his own idiosyncratic standards for distributing sperm to the (paying) populace.

Actual questions  from the obligatory "recipient profile":

Do you wear Glasses/Contacts? If yes what strength? What religion were you born into? What religion were your parents born into? Do you rent or own a home? How do you feel about your living situation? Do you plan to discuss bringing a baby into your home with the child(ren) who live there now? Will your partner’s parents want to welcome this child as their grandchild?

Also, this bizarre scale:

Which applies to your alcohol consumption: Please include comments
o when I drink it is usually one or two
o when I drink it is usually three or more
o when I drink I never get drunk
o when I drink I rarely have gotten drunk
o when I drink I occasionally get drunk
o when I drink I usually get drunk
o I get drunk most weekends

Do you know when you are ovulating? What symptoms do you have when you are ovulating? Do you wear seat belts in the car? Do you have a smoke detector in your home? Do you have a fire extinguisher in your home?

And, my favorite, this clever rhetorical device:

If you have a boy, do you plan to circumcise him?
If you have a girl, do you plan to circumcise her?
If unsure, would you like information about circumcision?

Somehow I suspect that the information dispensed upon request is not exactly a balanced view.

In fact, you also have to sign something saying you won't circumcise your child. This is something we haven't 100% decided about -- one of us is a Jew, the other is involved in HIV research, and there are many arguments for and against. It's not clearcut, and it's a decision that will be made thoughtfully with care, love, and loss no matter what we decide on.  I sure as shit don't want some guy on a mission making that decision for my family by fiat.

Nota bene: if you, reading this right now, are one of the cadre of people who troll the internet for the express purpose of anonymously posting in people's journals and telling them not to circumcise, then you are cordially invited to bite my ass. I can do the research myself, and I don't trust you. Remember, cranky is the watchword.

Anyway, back to Rainbow Flag Health Services, and their desire to know my degree of myopia and whether or not I wear a seatbelt. I've been thinking about what is so obnoxious about that damn recipient profile. I recognize that they're not selling widgets. It's not a bad thing for everyone to regularly acknowledge that what we're doing may create a human being. The extensive and invasive screening that foster and adoptive parents go through always makes me recoil in sympathy, but I understand it.

But this is not the same. This is some guy pretending that through this questionnaire he can intuit if you will be a decent parent. It's hubris, and it's annoying, and it seems like a power game.

Hey! I'm almost all out of cranky! Fear not. It is a renewable resource.