I sort of got my period again on Sunday. It's so very, very light. Red when I wipe, otherwise nada. This is pretty much what my last one was like, and I thought it was just because it was the first one post-misoprostol. I guess not. It's not nice to have your heart sink every time you pull down your pants. I hope I'm not too broken.
Last night I dreamed that I was in a rowboat. There were lots of dogs swimming around, but I ignored them. Then a puppy1 came paddling right up to my boat. I hauled him out of the water. He shook himself off and wriggled around and I thought "shit shit shit, I really wasn't ready to get another dog, but clearly I'm keeping this one."2 I then noticed that the dog was female, not male, and was surprised.
My subconscious isn't too subtle, huh?
I am sort of conflicted about moving forward. If I try again, either I'll get pregnant or I won't. If I don't, it will hurt. If I do, then either I'll stay pregnant or I won't. If I don't, it will hurt. If I stay pregnant, either the baby will be okay or he or she won't. Etc. It's... just going to take me a little while to screw up my courage to go again.
1A swift google tells me that the puppy was probably a St. Bernard, possibly a Landseer Newfoundland.
2The last of our three dogs died not too long ago, and we've vowed to remain dogless for a while.
