Sunday, April 29, 2007

CD15: estrogen rising.

Got a high on my CBFM, indicating rising estrogen levels. The annoying thing about the CB monitor is that it only tests once a day (and yes it occurred to me to buy two and set them for different times but i'm not that crazy YET, okay?). So I don't know exactly when the estrogen started rising, but it was some time between 8 am yesterday and 8 am today.

Now, the LH peak should be about 24 hours from the estrogen peak. But because I haven't been using the CBFM long enough I don't know whether or not this has detected the first edge of the rise (which could be several days out) or the peak (24 hours out). Will know tomorrow morning.

In any case, so far the CBFM is winning this month. The Ov-Watch jumped the gun like it did the first month. The OvaCue did too, but it's never been very good at predicting, just confirming, so I forgive it.

So. Best current predictions are LH surge tomorrow, ovulation Tuesday.

Yeah, did I mention that tomorrow's insem was cancelled too? Assuming all systems are go on Monday, first shipment of sperm should arrive Tuesday morning. We're going to insem on Tuesday, and hope for the best. It can't hurt. I'm not terrifically hopeful, though, not with a single insem so late.

Friday, April 27, 2007

CD13: Your Daily Mucus Report

Well, tomorrow's insem has been canceled. KD is still in bad shape. Poor guy even skipped his pain meds, but all that produced waas pain.

If he can send a package off tomorrow, he will, and we'll get it Monday. It'd be interesting to see if it survives 48 hours in transit. I bet it will, properly chilled.

New set of possibilities:
If I ovulate on Sunday (CD15, Ov-watch and OvaCue predicted), then game's over before it began.
If I ovulate on Monday (CD16), there's a chance.
If I ovulate on Tuesday (CD17) or later, then things are about as good as I could hope for.

Yesterday I was praying that the auguries were right, now I'm praying that they're wrong. Turn around, ovaries! I didn't mean it!

CD13: Your Daily Mucus Report

Glad to report that cervix is edging north, and there is a whisper of fertile mucus. Still think today would have been way too early, but have more faith for tomorrow. The next chance after that will be Tuesday, and Tuesday may well be perfect.

thankyouendocrinesystem!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Huh!

Just got off the phone with our KD. Poor duck is suffering from a pancreatitis attack (it's reoccurring) and is doped to the gills with pain medicine and is unable to. er. donate.

He thinks he'll be able to do so tomorrow.

I am so sorry that the poor guy is sick, but selfishly must say that this is perfect. I really felt like tomorrow was going to be too early, and now instead we get Saturday to cover the Ov-Watch and Ovacue's predictions, and then I can ask for another one next week when all the other signs (and OPKs) hopefully line up.

it's an ill pancreatitis that blows no one any good, I guess...

CD12: getting nervous

Nervous is me. I went ahead and asked KD for shipments today and tomorrow (for insems Friday and Saturday) but now I'm seriously  wondering if the Ov-Watch and Ovacue BOTH did me wrong this cycle. I'm supposedly 3 days from ovulation and my cervix is low and there's no useful mucus in sight. It isn't going to do much good to put sperm up there tomorrow if conditions are like they are today.

I should have just asked for one for Saturday and saved the other.  He's got three shippers so I could beg a third, and will if things look this grim through Saturday.

Conditions can change quickly, it's like New England weather down there. But I just wish they were a little closer to optimal right now, because it's hard to believe that they're going to come as far as they need to by tomorrow.

Please move, cervix. Please secrete fertile-quality mucus, cervical crypts. Please?

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Who's got a sodium chloride surge?

I've got a sodium chloride surge!

\o/

For the first time, the OvaCue and the Ov-Watch are in agreement.  Maybe the new OvaCue brains are more susceptible to groupthink. I don't know whether to be delighted or suspicious, but I'm going to go with it.

Friday and Saturday, we baby dance!

JUST KIDDING. We're lesbians. We don't do the nasty to get children. We make a nice pot of tea and, in between sips from bone china teacups,  decorously insert a syringe. Then we braid each other's hair.

If that doesn't work, we break into people's houses and steal them, or else we stay home and dress domesticated animals in costumes.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

CD10: First sighting.

First sign of impending fertility has been glimpsed by the newly-repaired OvaCue. It says that my most fertile day will be Saturday, so it presumably thinks that I will ovulate on Sunday.

Nothing but blank stares from the Ov-Watch so far this month, so we'll see. I'm inclined to trust it, since it did so very well last month, well enough for me to forgive its poor performance the month before.

I think it is very likely that it will pop up "Fertile Day 4" within the next few days. Given the blackout dates, the plan is thus, with pink being insem days:



In short, FD1 tomorrow is good. FD1 on Thursday is bad. FD1 on Friday is pretty good. FD1 on Saturday or after is very very good.

Notes: I'm assuming ovulation on OV2, since that's when I went last month... but it could well be OV1. If I assume OV1, the only change I would make is that I'd drop the OV2 insem in the second column and substitute an F2. Hmmm.

I was all pumped about doing frozen earlier this month, but now I'm thinking I should just mellow out a little and try a few more months of chilled.  Maybe. I dunno. The other choice is experimenting with semen that has been chilled for 48 hours; i.e., shipped Saturday, received Monday. It really might not be so bad. It's not hot out this time of years so the shippers will probably maintain temperature well. Might be worth trying and then popping the results under a microscope.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

CD1

Well, that's that then.

To do list for this cycle:

  • buy more Vitex
  • send shipper(s) back to KD
  • take stock of OPKs, order more?

Chances are excellent that this cycle will (like April's) have lousy timing, i.e. ovulation on a Monday. Ovulation on a Monday means that the closest I can get is two days before.

This is for the birds. I'm going to have B figure out how to make spunkcicles. She's looked at a protocol and says it doesn't seem  difficult. I figure then KD can ship at his leisure during the month, we can freeze some of it,  still try to get the fresher stuff, but on the months when O is on a Monday, it could make all the difference.

I also go to a doctor on Tuesday and will ask her to proclaim me an official lesbian so I can get a fertility clinic referral. I still wish for a quiet cozy romantic giggly conception on our enormous antique bed, but that desire is being somewhat tempered by the desire to actually, you know, get pregnant.

I'm just afraid that going to a clinic will shut B out of the process; I'll be the patient and she'll be... what? I hate that thought. But I'll hold my nose and do it, if that's what it takes. I'm sure that once an actual infant is produced we will have little time to brood about the exact circumstances of its creation.

And oh hey, introducing this month's ticker: Baby-Kaiju!

Saturday, April 14, 2007

CD29, 12DPO

No news. Kinda crampy, which means I might be about to get my period, or not.

If I do get it today or tomorrow I'll be a little concerned, because that will mean an 11-12 day luteal period, which is a bit shorter than I'd like to see. But I'm going to hang with the Vitex anyway, I just feel like it's doing good. And shortening my cycle at the very least means I get more chances to spin the wheel.

ETA: Spotting, v pale. I imagine I'll get it tomorrow. A 12 day luteal is okay, although just okay. Still, I like the shorter cycle. I'm going to cut back to 2 capsules a day and keep going w/the Vitex.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

CD26, 9DPO: Wednesday is poetry day.

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And starts tweeting in your ear when you're in meetings you couldn't care less about, and throws its seeds around until they get into everything you own, and is always there no matter what else you're thinking about, tweet fuckin tweet TWEET TWEET.

I am trying not to be afraid of this small feathered thing. I know it can hurt me, it's hurt many people. But maybe just now I can enjoy its presence, without trying unduly to protect myself.

Monday, April 9, 2007

CD24, 7DPO: Worst blastocyst mommy ever.

It didn't occur to me until after the bathroom wall was a pile of rubble that maybe spending all day wielding a demolition hammer is not the perfect occupation for the TWW. Ah, well. As B pointed out, if this kid can't stand some demolition then s/he is clearly not the child for me. And I'm not a big believer in the whole delicate condition thing, anyway. But maybe I would not have braced myself against the demo hammer quite so enthusiastically if I'd thought about it. *headdesk*

At the same time, I'm obscurely pleased with myself for forgetting. I so don't want TTC to be my whole life. Yes, the first thing I think every single morning is "X days DPO". But then I'm getting better at moving on and actually thinking about other things, living my life. Before I started this I paid a lot of lip service to settling in for the long haul (see: The Deal). Now I feel like I'm actually doing it

It seems frankly absurd to think that I might be pregnant. Right at this second, I feel okay about that.

No interesting symptoms to speak of. My breasts are incandescent with agony, but that started before we insemmed, so probably is not any sort of a clue. I think this is a good. I am obviously awash with progesterone this month, which would definitely help any li'l blasts stick where they're supposed to stick. Perhaps that will cancel out the whole demolition hammer incident?

Presenting this month's ticker: Prairie Fishie.

Sunday, April 1, 2007

CD16: 1Pre-O

Executive summary: Not bad, not bad at all. The most worthy attempt yet, I'd say, under the circumstances.

Background: "The circumstances" are that it's nearly impossible to get a package across this benighted country to arrive on a Sunday or Monday. I estimate that my three most fertile days this cycle were Saturday, Sunday and Monday. So -- as good as we could've gotten. We've told KD to cancel tomorrow's shipment, since Tuesday would be too late and probably useless. One well-timed is better than two badly-timed, right?

How I spent this weekend: gazing at my urine. The OPKs continued to darken, until I (estimate that I) surged on Saturday night. This is all new, and I believe thanks to the Vitex ("chasteberry") I'm taking. Vitex increases LH levels, and I think by raising my baseline it gave me earlier warning than I would have had otherwise. Yay Vitex! Yay, who gave me their successful baby-producing bottle to get me started! Also (there is no TMI here) I've had really great mucus, fertile as all get-out.

So, in conclusion, \o/.

Other good news: after the sputter, the OvaCue revived itself for long enough to register the dip that confirms that I will ovulate tomorrow. That's OV2 according to the Ov-Watch, and 36-48 hours after the OPK LH peak.

The big winner from this round: the Ov-Watch. I forgive it for totally fucking up last month. This month it got it bang on, and if it hadn't I would've missed insemming on Saturday -- I was doing it strictly to humor the Ov-Watch.

First runner up: OPKs. Gave me a very clear fade-in pattern for my LH surge.

Second runner up: OvaCue. Not much good for the predicting, but so useful to line up with the OPKs for confirming.

The big loser: ClearBlue Monitor. What were you thinking. Blue? Telling me that I was ovulating on CD11? At least you didn't use up many of your excruciatingly expensive sticks. Maybe it was the asparagus that messed you up. We'll try again next month, but try and hold out a little longer, kay?